Rebellion 2014

It’s that time of year again and with that comes my limited coverage of events. At least I’m covering it better than Kerrang magazine, the bastards. This has all been written in pieces over the course of four days, so excuse the various drunken ramblings.

I’d saved time by exchanging my ticket for a wristband on Wednesday afternoon, or so I thought. It turned out I still had to queue on Thursday morning and I found myself standing in the wrong line along with lots of other misinformed people. We were apparently in the bands’ queue (I thought they went in the back way, so to speak), but there was no sign and nobody telling us where to wait, a truly punk start to the festival with such chaos

There weren’t too many bands on day one that I was interested in seeing, so the plan was to just have a wander and catch a few here and there. Enemies of spelling, Skizofrenik, were the first band on the New Band Stage and I wasn’t that impressed. I was even less impressed when I saw them again two hours later on another stage where they filled in for a band who hadn’t turned up. I then caught bits of Borrowed Time (boring), Headstone Horrors (female-fronted, Misfitsesque) and the 4130s (no idea about the name).

There was a new stage this year, in a car park. There was a bar there and chemical toilets, but at least it was a break from the sweltering heat of indoors and you could smoke. The name of this venue? The Casbah. Sharif was unavailable for comment. Manc band, Potential Victims, played to maybe 100 people there and were well received, despite some of their songs sounding like ripoffs of other bands.

Thursday’s highlight was a Desert Island Discs-style interview with legendary frontman, Jello Biafra. The whole thing was beset with technical difficulties as song after song couldn’t be played. Some of his favourite records were so fantastically obscure though and eventually some tracks were played. His comments were delivered with intelligence, humour and charisma and it was the best 70 minutes I sent all day. I also learned from a random bearded guy I spoke to that the beard I have been growing for a year is called a “yeard”. Who knew?

Friday was a late start for me and I didn’t turn up to the venue until 5 o’clock. This meant that the first band I got to see was Darlington’s own In Evil Hour. This was the fourth time I’ve seen them and they just keep getting better. It’s amazing to think that it’s only 20 years since me and their drummer got drunk on whisky and I dared him to dive into a kids’ ball pond at a motorway service station.

Following this was Glittertrash, who appeared to be fronted by a shemale. If it wasn’t a shemale it was a very tall, muscular, ugly woman with a deep voice and an adam’s apple. Musically they weren’t particularly great either.

I ventured out to the car park and saw Fire Exit, a band from Scotland with fantastic drinking songs. Female-fronted Dragster were next and they survived without their singer for the first song as she was somehow late. The place really filled up for The Ramonas, an all-girl Ramones covers band. They were fantastic and must have played 30 songs in 50 minutes.

Up some stairs and along a corridor to the Spanish Hall to see The Pukes after this. I’ve seen them a number of times and they don’t disappoint. They played a mixture of covers and their own material and were joined onstage by a bunch of novice ukulele players for two chord song Part Time Punks. They were also joined by Del from Peter and the Test Tube Babies for Banned From The Pub. Finishing off with Anti-Nowhere League’s So What? gave the room full of nearly a thousand a legitimate excuse to shout “cunt!” loudly which is always fun.

Jello Biafra (him again) was performing a DJ set in the main ballroom after this. I turned up and saw about three minutes before leaving. Having a DJ in between bands was not a great idea and his obscure choices weren’t exactly setting the dancefloor alight. I bet he was paid a fortune to do it as well.

Saturday was a day with a couple of bands I really wanted to see, but that still left me with plenty of time to fill to check out other bands. I saw bits of The Go Set (can’t even remember them, but I noted I’d seen them – can’t have been that good), 3CR (novelty songs, mostly about sex), Choking Susan (not as good as last time), The Cravats (weird, had a saxophone, impossible to describe), The Brains (had a double bass, interesting), Imperial Leisure (decent, lively ska) and Cadaver Club (heavily made up to look like the undead, or something).

Pleasant surprise of the day was Argentinian band, Argies. Really! They played a mixture of ska and punk, like a South American Rancid and also gave British punk a heavy nod with covers of I Fought The Law and White Riot. The set ended with a decent instrumental version of Don’t Cry For me, Argentina. I actually wanted to buy their CD, but there was no merch available after they’d finished. I expect their album to be full of songs about loving the Falklands and corned beef.

Dirtbox Disco filled the car park for their show and around about a thousand people helped them whoa and nanana through their set of catchy, poppy punk songs. I think they’ll probably be headlining one of the stages within a few years, such is the magnitude of their support.

The later part of the evening was spent in the ballroom where first I saw Penetration. That’s a band – albeit not a very good one – rather than some kinky, specialist stuff. The 20 minutes I saw lasted 2 hours and then it was time for the UK Subs. I’d seen them in Manchester a few months ago and the most impressive thing about them is that their frontman is 70 and still bounces around like a 20 something. Pyrotechnics and retina-burning strobe effects were used while they played, which distracted me from something I didn’t care much for.

Biohazard were the band I waited all day to see and they didn’t disappoint. There were seemingly a few problems during soundcheck and they took to the stage about 10 minutes late. Billy changed guitars several times during the first couple of songs and he was visibly annoyed with one of the roadies, but it didn’t affect the performance. Their set consisted mostly of songs from Urban Discipline and State of the World Address with a couple of earlier ones thrown into the mix. They “haven’t been this wired since 95 at Donington when we were thrown off the stage” (the first time I saw them) and there was a risk it would happen again as they showed two fingers to the organisers and invited people to join them on stage. They played to the end though and finished with their anthem, Hold My Own. It was a great way to round off my day at just after midnight, and I broke my t-shirt-buying duck too.

And so bleary-eyed and into the final day I went. After a trip up Blackpool Tower and a quick tattoo, I got stuck into a few bands. On the afternoon menu were Casual Nausea (neither casual nor nauseous), Epic Problem (neither epic nor problematic) and Kunt and the Gang (not a gang). The latter filled the Spanish Hall with people eager to hear his collection of foul-mouthed minor internet hits. You haven’t lived until you hear a roomful of people sing along to the chorus of Use My Arsehole as a Cunt.

The evening promised the pick of the bands I had waited all weekend to see and most of them delivered. Old Firm Casuals were a bit like Rancid, which is hardly surprising as they are a “side project” of a member of said band. Agnostic Front delivered possibly the loudest set of the weekend with a decent mixture of old and new material and even added a cover of Blitzkrieg Bop for good measure.

D.O.A. played their last ever UK show and it was nothing short of brilliant. Joey Shithead had the crowd on his side by badmouthing David Cameron and jumped around the stage like a man half his age, even playing the guitar with his teeth at one point. Leftover Crack were hugely impressive too, despite a ten minute break after the drummer broke his snare and the singers admission that they were all “on mushrooms”. The stage in the car park suited them well and they were miles better than the previous year.

The weekend closed for me with NOFX. I missed the first 20minutes because of Leftover Crack, but I did catch over an hour. They were actually a little bit disappointing. Clearly drunk as usual and with more near-the-knuckle stage banter than normal, the set seemed fairly pedestrian. Saying that, I was at the back waiting for them to finish so I could go to bed. Rock and indeed, roll.

Although the line-up wasn’t as strong as the last two years, it was still an amazing weekend and I met some amazing people. I also met some less amazing people, but that’s all part of life’s rich tapestry or something. The guys from Burnley who I first met two years ago were around for most of the time and I had decent conversations with beard enthusiasts, security staff, drunks, a guy who  recognised me from the train and a banjo-playing Jesus lookalike. I can’t wait to do it all again next year.